Back to Jogjakarta in September

My last trip was in 2020 with my mom, it was a 5 days trip of rediscovering the city that I was once attached to. Growing up in a boarding school, frequently traveling thru Adisucipto Airport, transiting at my cousin’s grandmother house — it was a familiarity of this city gives and I have been longing for it for years.

I am very close to my mom’s side family that people never expected that we would be that close. It’s the truth though. I have been going here even before I got in to the boarding school. It was our regular Idul Fitri or Pulang Kampung trip with my grandparents.

And now after years of traveling alone for school, and with my parents, it feels somehow totally different. It’s strange to be here not fully for wisata kuliner, or visiting family, or just my usual thing. I traveled here for my master degree, with my classmates, and no parents with me. I feel emptier than ever.

It’s like going somewhere you’re so attached but now the people around you is not your “normal” environment. It’s not your cousin’s grandmother’s house, they’re not your family. You’re not there for what you always do. You sat alone after your 5 days trip — thats now so quiet — and question things like, “wait, am I really here and it just ended like that?” Because you didn’t do what you always do — not your favorite food stall, or your family’s place.

I kept being reminded of the old time. And it’s the worst feeling ever because I can’t really enjoy the city with my friends with this lingering feeling.